I dropped KGO off at the library to pick up a book.  We were on our way to the YMCA for swimming so I waited in the car.  Too soon, I saw her come out the library door and from the look on her face I knew something was up.  She said, "come in, I want to show you something".  I knew what it was.  What else could it be?  It had been quite some time since I dropped off the check for $350 with a list of baseball books and instructions to buy them in memory of Dad.  I was excited that the books were here and yet feeling emotional about seeing them.  I came inside the library and on a table in the entrance hallway was a display of books and baseballs.

There were quite a few empty spots on the table which meant that people were already reading Dad's books.  I know he would be pleased and happy to know that other people were able to share his passion for baseball and books.  Inside each cover was this label.

A few days later I received this letter with a list of the books that were bought with this memorial donation.  Thanks again to all his friends and relatives who gave us money and allowed us to do this. 

It is baseball season again and so time moves forward, seasons pass, life goes on.  I watch the games, I try to learn about all the new players and to remember the old ones.  Questions come up and where once I would have just asked dad, now I need to google the answers.  I wonder if he is playing baseball again where ever he is.  Is he young and strong with a heart that is undamaged and allows him to run the bases?  Is he playing with his old friends and getting to know all the old ball players?  Is mom sitting in the bleachers in her rolled up jeans, bobbie socks and saddle shoes talking to the other wives and girlfriends, cheering on their boys of summer?  It comforts me to think of them that way. 

I just finished making Dad's room back into our guest room and making it available for out of town guests.  I have a new queen sized bed, new mattress, new TV stand, curtains, bedding lighting and pillows, a ceiling fan,  We kept Dad's chair and bookcase and there is still some of his stuff in the closet.  It is hard to go through things and decide what to keep and what needs to go.  There is not much left but I can't find the need to finish.  There is no rush.  I put a picture of dad on the shelf where you can't help but see it if you sit in his chair.  He is smiling and happy and it makes me smile and makes me happy when I see it.  I think about him often.  I find myself thinking about the way he lived and the way he died and the example he set.  Sometimes I think of things that I wish I had asked him or talked to him about.  Mostly, I am content.  

Aunt Sheila sends me some pictures

I received a letter from Aunt Sheila today.  Aunt Sheila is a reliable letter writer and I am attempting to become a better correspondent, however, email is my preferred method.  Along with the newsy letter she included  these pictures.  How young they look!  I have not seen Dutch since I was in high school in the 70's.  The first 2 pictures were taken in my mom and dad's back patio area at their house on 20th Street in Ames.  I never lived in that house since they bought it after I left home in 1973, but I spent many hours of my summer vacation visits in that back yard on that patio.  

 This is my Dad, Bob Johnson, my Aunt, Sheila Sabin and my Uncle, Donald(Dutch) Johnson.  The picture was taken in May 1989.  I think Dad had not seen Dutch for many years.  It was a blessing to have this visit.  I knew him as uncle Dutch and so for Dad's obit I had to ask Sheila what his real name was! This picture was taken May 1989.  Aunt Sheila, Dad and Uncle Dutch standing, my cousin David Sabin (Sheila's son) seated and my Mom, Karen Johnson, setting out the plates and silverware.  Must be Uncle Jerry Sabin taking the pictures. My dad is wearing his customary long sleeved dress shirt.  Mom is looking pretty good in her shorts. I think she had been on one of those diets where they send you food in the mail.  

This picture was taken in Aunt Sheila's driveway in Nevada, IA  on 6-12-92.  June 12 that year was a Friday and Mom and Dad seem kinda dressed up for a Friday.  Oh, for goodness sake!  How could I forget?  June 12 is Mom and Dad's Wedding Anniversary!  38 years.   Dad has a short sleeved shirt on so it must have been pretty hot that day!  Notice the checkbook sticking out of his shirt pocket.  They must have been going out to eat.  How nice that they were celebrating!  

Letters from old friends, memorials and tears

The first letter is from an old friend of my Dad's.  I received it after my dad's funeral.  I never met John, but we have corresponded before.  I wrote him for my dad at Christmas time and I wrote him when Dad died.  This was his response.  I am not sure when the last time Dad and John met in person, but I know they still felt the connection of their shared passion and old memories.  I found a large manilla envelope in Dad's things from John with the statistics of all the games dad played in H.S., including his hits and the scores.  I am sure dad enjoyed reading about his high school exploits.  I wish I had a team photo or yearbook from those years.

I received this letter from a man I never met and was so touched by his thoughtfulness in sending us his memory of Dad playing baseball in high school. I know I heard Dad talk about meeting for coffee(diet coke for Dad, I'm sure) with some of his old team mates.

Most days, I miss Dad but I am OK.  Occasionally something hits me and the tears well up and my voice will not work right.  This happened when  I took his memorial money to the library with a list of the top 100 baseball novels.  I asked them to spend the $350 to buy some books from the list. Cindy, the librarian was explaining that they would place a sticker inside the book and asked me what I wanted it to say.  At first I couldn't talk at all so I walked away to sit on the bench and think and write it down.  I hope that future readers will stop when they read his name inside the cover and think of a man named Bob Johnson who had a passion for baseball and a passion for books. 

 9-11-1932 to 2-2-2017

Mom and Dad and getting ready.

This is a picture of my mom, Karen and my dad Bob Johnson. They look so young(because they were) and happy.  I am pretty sure it was taken while they were dating in 1953 or 1954.

Today I got a call from the funeral director to let me know I can pick up dad's ashes for transport to Ames on Friday.  So I said to Karen "can you drive me to Ernisse's to pick up dad?"  The look on her face was priceless and we had a good laugh.

Earlier, Diane, Whitney and Tiffany came over to help me sort through some of dad's things.  He didn't have much left.  I suggested that Diane might like some of his favorite shirts to make a memory  quilt and she took some of his favorites.  I am looking forward to seeing what she comes up with.  Most of his clothes and coats will go to the Rescue Mission.  It was a sad, but necessary job and I was grateful for their help.

A voracious reader

Dad always was a reader and so was I.  When we lived on 10th Street in Nevada he brought home the My Friend Flick books from the library.  As soon as he finished one, I got it to read.  Over the years we read many of the same books.  He had a collection of books by Zane Grey.  I read some of them, but they did not appeal to me, too old fashioned.  He had all the Edgar Rice Burroughs books so I read about Tarzan's adventures.  He had all the John Carter Books so I went to Mars and met Tars Tarkas and Deja Thoris and all the other wild and fabulous creatures of Mars.  We read all the Black Stallion books.  He had lots of Science fiction books and so I was introduced to Isaac Asomov and Robert Heinlein.  He had all of the James Bond books so I fell in love with Ian Fleming's James Bond.  My daughter is named after a character in Diamonds are Forever, Ms T. Case(The T stands for Tiffany).  I think Westerns were his favorites and we read all of Louis Lamour's books about the Sacket family.  After I grew up and left home he started reading spy books and what I like to call "macho man" books that did not appeal to me.  I tried reading a couple but never developed any enthusiasm for them.  But then we got back together with Ann McCaffrey's series about Dragons and Jean Auer's Clan of the Cave Bear series.  We shared the books.  When a new one came out, one of us bought it and read it, then sent it to the other.  Dad lived with me after mom died in 2013.  Karen ordered books for him from the library.  I would pick them up 10 at a time!  He read one a day except during baseball season, when he slowed down a bit. 

This picture of dad was taken at the eye glass store when we were picking out his glasses.  He went back to an aviator style frame that came with clip on sunglasses.  He looks very cool, like a hero in one of his adventure books. Over the last year (2015-2016) he had stopped reading.  The illnesses and surgeries had taken a toll on him and it was getting too hard to see and hold the books. He was hoping these glasses would allow him to read again.  Sadly, this did not happen.  Shortly after he got his new glasses he started feeling poorly.  His lungs were filling up with fluid again, his heart, which had only worked at 30% for the past 28 years was unable to keep his blood circulating.  Just after Christmas he was back in the hospital and he made the decision to refuse rehab and enter hospice care. 

I walk down the hallway past his room, see his empty chair and my loss hits me over and over.  I am grateful for the blessing of having him with me all this time.  I remember when his heart problem was first diagnosed in 1989.  As I drove home to Wisconsin after I visited, each time I thought it might be the last time I saw him alive.  None of us expected him to live and yet somehow he did live another 28 years.  Lived to see weddings, parties, holidays and great grandchildren, Lived to enjoy Mom's retirement and a move to a condo in Ankeny with Mom.  He lived to travel to the Grand Canyon with Steve, to take a ferry to Washington Island, to take a charter fishing trip on Lake Michigan and to make a move he never expected to make to a condo by Lake Michigan in Wisconsin with me.  

He was Karen Scott's husband

My dad, Robert (Bob) Johnson passed away on Feb 2, 2017.  He was a lifelong baseball fan.  He loved to play, loved to listen on the radio and really loved watching on TV or in person. He loved all forms of baseball from little league to girls softball.  If the game had a ball and a bat he was ready to watch it.  When I was a small kid, my dad was a Dodgers fan.  He used to read books about the Dodgers and then pass the books on to me to read too, so for a long time the Dodgers were my team too.  Do you remember when there was only 1 or 2 games on TV each week?  Then when cable TV arrived there was a need to fill the air and baseball fans got more baseball on TV then we ever imagined!  The Cubs were on TV in the town where dad lived and he became a Cubs fan.  Then they took the Cubs off and showed St Louis and he became a Cardinals fan.  Then he moved to live with me in Wisconsin and he became a Brewers fan-NOT!  In reality, he was just a baseball fan.  He followed all the teams and all the players.  

2016 was a hard year for Dad.  He spent too much time in the hospital and in rehab.  He was very diligent about doing his exercises, eating the best he could and still he was not as strong as he was before.  But he still kept up with his teams, his stats and the CUBS!  As the year wore on and the Cubs got closer to the playoffs, there was a lot of hope in our house.  Would this be the year?  Would they win?  

Dad watched all the playoff games with hope in his heart and we watched with him.  Has there ever been a series like this one?  Every time we lost hope, the Cubs battled back.  The seventh game, tied, into extra innings and we were up way past our bedtime and the impossible happened!  The Cubs won the world series.  After 108 years Cubs fans everywhere celebrated!

 The next morning dad was still asleep after 8am.  I went in to wake him up and said "Can you believe you are waking up this morning in a world where the Chicago Cubs are World Champs?"  His only response was a shit eating grin.

A little later, I just had to add "Dad, did you know that today is the first day of the next 108 years?"
He said he didn't think he would be around for that one and we laughed.

We will have a service of remembrance and celebration on Saturday, February 11, 2017 at 3pm at the Stevens Funeral home in Ames, IA.  Wear your favorite team's gear if you have it.  Come prepared to sing Take Me Out to the Ballgame.